Empty Nest: A Conversation with Luke

I think this conversation may have been prompted by us telling Luke that we were going to see Steve's Dad (it's his father who passed away), even though he started asking these questions many hours later. Luke has meet him a few times, but the most recent time was a couple of years ago and I'm sure he doesn't remember.

Luke: Why when I'm a grown-up do I not live with you?
DH: Well, after you go to college and get a job, you'll have your own stuff and you'll want to put it in your own house.
Luke: But I will miss you!
Me: You will still see us. Remember that Nana and Papa are my mommy and daddy. I used to live with them, but now I life with you and Daddy. But we still see them a lot. They come to see us or we go to see them.
Luke: But I don't have a car.
DH: You will when you get old enough.

Currently feeling: awww

So far, December is not really better

I know, I am woefully behind. Thanksgiving was pretty bad. I had a kidney stone that started killing me just as we sat down to eat our big family meal. Two hours on the hard bathroom floor to pass it, plus a 2 hour nap afterwards pretty much wiped out turkey day itself. Sleeping off the pain meds erased most of Friday for me as well. Saturday went okay; I did get some rugs picked out for the new house, though I haven't had time to buy them yet. Then Sunday as we were leaving, I closed Luke's thumb in the car door. It's not broken as I feared, and he's fine, but it just seemed like the perfect end to such a crappy month.

December has to be better, right?

Or not. Steve's grandmother just called. His grandfather died last night. He has been in failing health for some years, and she did email Steve within the last week or so to say he had been moved to hospice care, so it's not a surprise. Doesn't make it suck any less, though. We were already discussing going down there this weekend anyway, I just hate that we didn't make it. We'll be going to the funeral on Saturday (have to wait for extended family from North Carolina, Washington DC, Texas, South Dakota, and Australia to arrive).

CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET A BREAK? PLEASE??!! I am so tired.

In the meantime, I have to come up with something for both myself and Luke to wear. Luke should be pretty easy. Thanks to Mom, I already have some nice shirts for him, just need to get him some pants (he only has jeans right now). Me, not so much. I haven't worn business clothes in almost a year, since the last round of holiday work parties. I pray they still fit. It *might* be as "warm" as the 40s and raining for the service, and I'm wearing pants, whether it is "proper etiquette" or not. Might also break out the long wool coat I bought back in January. Summer funerals are no fun in the heat, but I think cold and rainy will be worse.

Currently feeling: just trying to keep it together

November 2009 Round Up

Created using Big Huge Labs Mosaic Maker.
Click mosaic to biggify, or see my November 2009 Project 365 Posts.

I can't believe this is the first one I have missed since I started doing the round ups in January 2007. I didn't even get notes made during the month, things were so incredibly insane. I'll have to use my blog and Twitter to back me up here.

What books and/or magazines did I read this month?
I genuinely can't think of a thing. I had no time to even contemplate reading.

What movies and/or tv shows did I watch this month?
Shows were the usual, all in November sweeps mode. Didn't see any new movies, I don't think. I'm telling you, there was just no time! We did introduce Luke to The Pink Panther cartoons, though, and he loves them.

What special days did I celebrate and how?
I spent a tiny bit of Thanksgiving with my grandfather, what portion of it was not spent on the bathroom floor passing a kidney stone. Joy. Much of the rest of the holiday weekend was spent sleeping off the pain meds.

What gifts did I give and/or receive?
I can't recall any off the top of my head over a month after the fact. Nothing noted on the blog or on Twitter.

What illnesses or health concerns did I have?
More than our share! The ENT put Luke on more antibiotics and antihistamines in hopes of avoiding more tubes, my grandfather suffered a serious bleed, grandmother was diagnosed with a recurrence of lung cancer (she's never ever smoked), Luke was throwing up one weekend, DH's grandfather was moved to hospice care, I passed a kidney stone, and I closed Luke's thumb in the car door.

What fun things did I do with my friends and/or family?
Star Wars in Concert! It was awesome. Luke's first concert of any kind, excellent music, great exhibit accompanying it. I could not have asked for better.

What new foods, recipes or restaurants did I try this month?
Hey, we actually tried a new recipe at Thanksgiving! One I suggested, and it was good even. Cornbread Dressing from 5 Ingredient Fix. We tweaked it a little, adding some poultry seasoning, using chicken stock instead of water (we also increased the amount a little; this may depend on the cornbread you use), and adding in finely diced celery that we sauteed with the onion. Yummy! Seems like we may have done some other new recipes that weekend, but they escape me 5 weeks after the fact.

What special or unusual purchases did I make?
We bought a new pipe to replace the newly leaking one in the Jack & Jill sink in Luke's bathroom.

What were this month's disappointments?
Almost too numerous to name. Extensive expensive plumbing repairs needed, all the illness issues with various grandparents, having to delay the move a week, Home Depot only sending half of our special order toilet, plumbing repair leak causing the basement bathroom ceiling to split open, some school drama with Luke, having our cable shut off twice in two days when I already had major work issues (can't work from home without internet), having to delay Thanksgiving departure, missing most of Thanksgiving and time with my grandfather. There's probably more, but that will do for now.

What were my accomplishments this month?
I've probably said this before, but this month, I really mean it: purely surviving was an accomplishment in and of itself. In addition to all of this, work was not much fun either.

I did manage a single item from the 101 Things list:

67. Get new bedding for our bed. Mom and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and I got a beautiful coverlet set for our bed. I thought I had taken a photo of the bed all made up, but I can't find it, and DH is currently sleeping. I will get one to document it for the 101 Things List. Here is the one from the website.

Project 365 did not go so well this month. I think I missed 3 photos, which is my most ever, and I feel like I had more "desperation photos" than usual. As you can see from the above, we had a lot going on. Only one more month. I'm really amazed that I've managed to keep it up all year. Go me!

What were Luke's accomplishments this month?



His own survival was pretty amazing, but he seemed to time his episodes well. For the most part, he chose to misbehave on days when other things were not going on/going wrong. I know we were keeping him up late and whacking out his schedule and dragging him all over creation, plus the usual disruptions of travel and his sensitivity to our own stress (no matter how much you try and shield them, it still seeps through), as well as some trepidation of his own over the move itself (will you take my bed? my toys? etc.).

There was also some school drama that I did not document on the blog (believe it or not, I don't discuss *everything* on here). It turned out okay. In fact, in a conference with his teachers, he got glowing reviews for both intelligence and behavior, but that was an extra couple of stressful days we really could have done without.

He genuinely enjoyed Star Wars in Concert, though. That was the highlight of my month.

Anything else noteworthy to record?
Oh good heavens, I surely hope not.

Monthly Round Up courtesy of Katie the Scrapbook Lady.

Currently feeling: I've had about enough

Happy Thanksgiving

I would like to wish all of my USA friends a very Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are enjoying friends and family today and celebrating the gifts in your life.

I celebrate you, all of you, my friends. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. I am thankful for each of you every day.

Currently feeling: blessed

Survived the Move

Just wanted to pop by and say that we did survive the move. Our movers were exceptional! The move itself could not possibly have gone better.

Things since then, however, have not gone so well, but we're surviving. (Nothing earth-shattering or life threatening, just more frustrations.) If things ever calm down enough, I might have time to blog again. Not holding my breath, though. Maybe after Thanksgiving.

Currently feeling: just trying to keep going

The Ceiling is Falling

Previously on "As the Gastons' World Turns": We had the cable disconnected by the cable company twice in two days. That necessitated me working at Panera for 2 days rather than at home. I had gotten the Monday disconnect fixed Tuesday morning. DH was left to correct the Tuesday afternoon disconnect when he got home from work a little early. And now, our story continues....

DH called me at Panera around 3:30 Tuesday afternoon to say that our cable service had been restored. It was turned off in the system, not disconnected at the house, just as I suspected. I still had some work I needed to do, and Panera is between the current house and Luke's school. The new house is between Panera and Luke's school. So we made a plan. DH would load up the car with some packed boxes and drop them off at the new house. He would then pick up Luke and swing back by Panera to pick me up. We would go to dinner, come back for me to pick up my car, and head home. Sounds like a plan!

Except DH called me, seething, just after 4. "The ceiling in the basement bathroom has collapsed. Water is leaking from the Jack and Jill sink upstairs."

I can't make this stuff up, folks.

Smidgen of relevant background info: We had discovered on Monday that the county had turned the water on to the house, which was most efficient of them. DH had gone through the whole house checking each and every fixture to make sure they all worked. There was no sign of a leak or anything at that time. Now, less than 24 hours later, the ceiling had collapsed due to a leak, but there was no real flow of water coming from the ceiling, just a very small but steady drip every few seconds.

DH continued: "I'll call the plumber to see what to do now and when he can get here to look at it. Just wanted you to know. I'll call when I know something and we can figure out what to do about picking up Luke and dinner." I was completely numb. My brain just kept shouting "this cannot be happening!" The only consolation is that that sink had been repaired by the plumber the previous week, so most likely, all of the repairs for the damage would be covered by *them.* An inconvenience, surely, but not detrimental financially. My main fear was of exactly how much damage there was, which was a complete unknown at this point. I was also petrified that we would have to reschedule the move AGAIN! (Can you imagine having to reschedule disconnects with the cable company again? I may as well set up a permanent office at Panera!)

Here are some photos of the damage:


Is that a ceiling or a trap door?



Plumber arrived around 4:30, which was actually much quicker than we expected. Based on his inspection and subsequent discussion with his boss, this is what we theorize happened. During the repairs last week, a pipe broke off at the wall under the sinks of the Jack and Jill bathroom. We were having those pipes replaced due to rust, and that one had apparently rusted through to the point that it broke with only the slightest pressure applied during the repair. What should have happened is that the plumber should have stopped what he was doing and explained that they needed to go into the wall and replace the pipe at our expense. Yes, we would have been terribly unhappy about it, but we likely would have agreed. However, the plumber felt like he had broken it, so he should fix it, and at no cost to us. He cut a new length of pipe and soldered it to the pipe in the wall. Problem solved. Except there was a pinhole size gap in the solder, and once the water was turned back on by the county, it started to drip. Because the drip was small, however, it had not gotten to the point of showing up downstairs yet when DH had "made the rounds" Monday afternoon. It took an additional 24 hours of small but steady drips to collapse the ceiling.

Here's the good news (can you believe I just said that?!). #1: The water was dripping directly into the center of the shower in the basement bathroom, not onto the floor or down the walls, so there was no additional damage to the basement bathroom, just the walls and ceiling around the shower. #2: Due to the whole cable debacle, DH had gone in to work early, which had allowed for a trip to the new house on Tuesday that was not originally planned. Otherwise, it may have been Wednesday or Thursday before we discovered the problem. #3: Because the cable guy showed up early, DH was able to work the whole day Tuesday instead of just half a day. This meant that he could now take off all of Wednesday to meet the plumber at the new house to start the repairs. #4: Instead of having to go through the wall in the Jack and Jill bathroom, the pipe repair could now take place through the "convenient" new hole in the basement ceiling, so no additional demolition work would be required. #5: The manager was going to check on what to do about insurance covering the damage. We weren't sure if that meant he was checking to see how to go about handling it, or if that meant he was trying to see if they had to cover the damage. (Likely a bit of both.) However, from what DH overheard of the conversation with the manager, it sounded like the plumbing company would cover both the physical damage and the pipe repair to correct the problem.

So as bad as it was, it had all unfolded in about the best way possible. The plumber needed a special piece of equipment that he did not have with him. He would retrieve it Wednesday morning and meet DH at the house at 10 AM Wednesday morning.

[Quick aside: We ended up at Artuzzi's for dinner Tuesday night. They delivered my food and DH's food to the table, but no pizza for Luke. "Excuse me, he is supposed to have a cheese pizza." Yes, sir, but when we were removing the pizza from the oven, it slid off and hit the floor. We're making him another one right now. ::sigh:: Just the perfect end to the perfect day, no?]

There did end up being some negotiations Wednesday morning with the manager about who would cover what part of the repair. We finally agreed that we would pay for the cost of repairing the pipe that was leaking, since that is what should have happened in the first place. It was also a known fixed cost. The plumbing company would be responsible for the water damage, including any mold remediation and such. I still think they should have paid for all of it, but it was not worth the fight or the possible delay of the move (again). We were willing to pay for part of it just to have it over and done with as quickly as possible.

The water damage company arrived around noon with all sorts of gadgets and gizmos. They also checked every single spot that I was concerned about without us having to ask. DH was very impressed with their thoroughness. They removed all collapsed portions of the ceiling in the basement plus a little more to allow for good airflow up in there, hopefully to dry things out. They also took out the sheet rock around the shower that their moisture-checking thing said was too wet to be salvaged. They set up two huge dehumidifiers/heaters, one in each bathroom, and a fan in the basement that pointed straight up at the ceiling. They'll come back to check it on Friday (yes, the day we move), and we'll discuss any additional required measures (hopefully none) and when to have them come back and repair the walls/ceiling at that time. The water damage people finished up around 1:30, and the pipe repair was done by 2 (thanks to the basement ceiling access). Water to the house has been restored once again. Let's just hope it stays that way.

I am so ready to return to my boring life. Oh wait, I still have to move on Friday!! It's not over yet. Wish us *good* luck! At the rate we've been going lately, we're gonna need it.

P.S. The first person to say "what else can go wrong?" gets smacked!!

Currently feeling: trying so hard to hang in there

Cable cut-off deja vu

I feel like we're starting to turn into a "reality show." Every day is a new drama to contend with, some our own fault, some not. And I'm not even sure which category this one falls into.

As you all know by now, we were supposed to move last Friday, Nov 13. We did not. This change in plan necessitated phone calls to a couple of utilities to continue service at the current house until we do actually get to move on Friday, Nov 20. Now, we are not having the power, water, or gas cut off at the current house, but we were scheduled to have the phone and cable service disconnected. Remember, I work at home, so external communication capabilities are required.

MONDAY, 2 PM

Monday afternoon, just before 2 PM, the television suddenly froze. A message box popped up on the screen that said something to the effect of "One moment please, this channel is currently unavailable. If the problem persists, please contact [cable company]." About this time, I also heard the unmistakable "ding" of my work computer disconnecting from the secure network. No cable TV, no cable internet. They've been doing a *ton* of utility work lately, and it has been affecting both my cable and my phone service off and on for over a month now. Cable interruption usually takes one of two forms: either it's back in under 5 minutes, or it is out 30-60 minutes. I kept trying to reconnect every 10 minutes or so. After 2.5 hours, I finally call it in.

There is no widespread outage reported in my area. I ask to be press buttons until I am connected with someone in the television department. The have record of us pushing out the new connection at the new house, but it still shows us scheduled for disconnection of service that day (Monday). However, she swears up and down that no one has been sent to the house, so we should still have service. I find that hard to believe, but okay. She changes our disconnect date to Nov 23, so that should prevent them from actually doing the physical disconnect (that I still think has already happened, but she still says no it hasn't). She then transfers me to the internet department to see what they can see. They, too, report that no one has been sent to the house, so our service should still be active. "It must be a repair problem. We can have someone there tomorrow during an 11AM-2PM window."

So let me get this straight. #1: You are asking me to believe that even though your own system says service was scheduled to be terminated today (even though DH swears he had them change the cut-off date when they changed the new service date), just because your computer does not show the work as done, you are absolutely certain the disconnect did not happen? Rebuttal: I've issued enough work tickets in my time to know that just because the ticket does not show complete yet does NOT mean that the work hasn't been done. It just means that they have not yet had a chance to close the ticket in the system. #2: You are also asking me to believe that it is sheer coincidence that the day your computer says we are scheduled to have service terminated at the current house is the same day I have a mid-afternoon service failure at my house that will require a repair? Rebuttal: I will admit we have had rather a bad run of luck recently, and while not impossible, I find that theory highly improbable. Guess we'll see.

In the meantime, I am very limited in my job functionality because I cannot "see" any of the systems I need to do my job properly. We were also going to miss the semi-finals of Dancing With the Stars which, though not life altering, is rather frustrating! I actually went to Panera after dinner to download any of my email from that afternoon and handle any big problems that may have come up since my "loss of signal" at 2. When I got home at 9:30, I filled in hubby on all the details, including one I had neglected to mention earlier. Not only is our service out, it also will not allow us to access our DVR. We usually have access to recorded programs, even if the incoming signal is gone. This, to me, is a clear sign of a service issue. It *could* have been that our actual cable box was bad, but that wouldn't explain the lack of internet. DH decides to call again, just to see if the ticket was worked today and input in the system sometime after 4:30 and is *now* showing up on their screens. Nope, a 3rd person swears that the disconnect has not been worked, so it must be a repair issue. If you say so. I just hope that if the physical disconnect *has* been worked, whoever you are sending on Tuesday is not "just a repair guy" but can also reconnect us. If not, and we have to wait for another service call, I'm going to be really ticked.

[Side note: We ate dinner out, taking separate cars. I picked up Luke in my car and met DH at the restaurant. DH took Luke home in his car while I went to Panera. Only after I got home around 9:30 did I realize that I had Luke's kitty in my car! DH knew how upset I was and how much I needed to get some work done, so he didn't even call me when he realized it, he just put Luke to bed and promised to bring up Kitty as soon as I got home. I felt like a terrible mom! But all things considered, Luke handled the whole thing very well.]

TUESDAY MORNING

Tuesdays at work are very busy for me, but DH has taken off so much unexpected time off work of late, we came to a compromise. I would take Luke to school, then go to the McDonalds just up the street that advertises Wi-Fi. I would work there until about 9:30, then be home by 10 in case the cable fixer guy came early (unlikely, but if I didn't get home until 10:30, I was convinced I would have missed him, simply given our luck of late). DH would go into work an hour early and take a half day off, coming home to relieve me for the "cable watch" so I could go back to some Wi-Fi spot and continue working. Great plan, right? Except that McDonalds does not have *free* Wi-Fi! By the time I finally got connected enough and then read all the gobbledy-gook and realized they were charging (not a lot, but still!), I would have had to purchase a 2-hour block of time and only get to use 45 minutes of it. I packed up and went home. My co-workers were kind enough to supply me with phone numbers of some people I needed to contact, and I did the best I could while I was home feeling completely disconnected from the world.

Good thing I went home! At 10 AM sharp, the phone rang. It was the cable guy; he was sitting in my driveway. (Remember, our assigned service window was 11AM-2PM. Score one for me for being prepared!) He comes to the front door with several bits of testing equipment. I begin explaining the problem, including the part about having to move the move and the computer still saying we were supposed to be disconnected on Nov 16, but that 3 different people during 2 different calls have *sworn* it was not disconnected at the house. He turned and walked right back out the front door and looked across the street to where our cable connects to the pole outside. "It is physically disconnected. I can see it from here." [insert mental string of color metaphors here] "Let me go see if I can reconnect it without having to call a service crew with a cherry picker." The cable was connected a good 15-20 feet up the pole, and he only had a ladder. A big ladder, but still. I was *terrified* watching him go up there, but he did it, which I most sincerely appreciated. By the time he gave me the thumbs up, my television and internet were both working. I thanked him profusely, and he left. I called my husband, since it was only about 10:20 AM, hoping he hadn't left work yet. "The cable is back. Don't come home. Stay and work." Okay, he said, but since he came in early, he would be home a bit early, probably just after 3. Great! Problem solved.

Or so I thought.

TUESDAY, 1:45 PM

I've had my cable back for over 3 hours now. I am typing away on an email, trying to get it out before my 2PM conference call, with the television on in the background. Suddenly, the TV noise cuts out. At nearly the same instant, my work laptop boots me off the network. "It's like deja vu all over again." I am now steaming mad! I glance outside at the street, just to make sure it was not another physical disconnect, but I already have a suspicion as to what is going on. Even though she had changed the disconnect date in the computer to Nov 23, I was willing to bet money that the message had not been received by the service department, so they had cut off the actual service (not physically, but via computer), since the physical disconnect was done the previous day. Again, having worked in this type of job long enough, I have no doubt that when the guy issued the "complete" on the physical disconnect, it triggered some sort of work ticket/work queue to the service people to cut off the actual service, so even though the date was changed in the computer, the disconnect ticket completion notice trumped what was done Monday. The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing, so to speak.

The problem was, I had 15 minutes to be on a conference call, and as of 1:45 when I lost service, I had not yet received the spreadsheet I needed! I threw all of my stuff into a bag and raced to Panera, hoping to arrive in time to set up and download email before the call started. I also called my husband. I was practically spitting the words. "We have no cable television or internet." I thought they reconnected us this morning, he says. "THEY DID!! I bet they cut off our service in the computer once they were notified that the physical disconnect was done. I am leaving the house to go to Panera right now for my 2PM call. You call [cable company] when you get home." I dialed in to the conference bridge as soon as I parked the car, right at 2PM. By the time they got to my first project (3rd or 4th on the list), I was powered up and looking at the spreadsheet. DH called around 3:30 to report that my theory was correct and all service had been restored. Whew!



I cannot thank Panera enough for offering free Wi-Fi!! (And quite comfy chairs with mini-desks and near floor outlets.) They really saved me two days in a row. Funny how I used computers for a good 15 years (1983-1998) either before the internet existed (to the public) or without an internet connection at my dwelling and found computers both useful and fun. Even after I first got online, I really only had access at the college computer lab (no internet in the dorm back then), yet my dorm room computer was tremendously helpful. Since then, we've had a home internet connection for 10 years, and I now consider my laptop practically useless without an internet connection. My my, how things change.

Believe it or not, our trials and tribulations for Tuesday were not yet over, but that completes the cable debacle portion of the program. I'll save the next chapter in my tale of woe for a separate post.

Currently feeling: ready to work from home (not Panera)